Why do I love you?

Why do I love you? I don't want to and you can't make me, but I do. I hate the fact that you're so stupid. Who give's up $570 a week to read peter pan and do 5th grade math? NO ONE! NO ONE EXCEPT YOU BECAUSE THERE'S NO ONE AS STUPID! you tell me to calm down and that everything will be okay in the end. i don't want everything to be okay in the end. i want everything to be okay now. i want things to be going right, right now not later. I don't care that you went back to school. Whoopie! You threw away good money that others would kill to have for 5th grade math, history of drug addicts, self defense and reading bedtime stories! I'm giving up a freaking year of my life to be at home with you while you take stupid shit classes with the hope of getting into a program that you probably won't get through. I'm 20 years old and I've been in love with you for two years, and you've been in love with me for 2 years. Everyone else is getting married, thank you facebook for reminding me, and you're just pushing mine farther and farther away. I can't see it. I can't plan our wedding knowing that I'll have to wit longer than I should. It's not fair. All you had to do was buy me a ring. Oh and then, and then, you tell me that when we first started dating a year ago that you fucking got drunk and made out with some fucking slut at your house while a bunch of people were over. Oh but it's okay because I can make out with Graydon for 2 minutes in front of you so we can be even. How could I ever possibly get even with you for crushing my hopes and dreams and all i've ever wanted. Now I can't watch any of my wedding shows ( Say yes to the dress, SYTYD: atlanta, four wedding, or anything else) and I can't go on my favorite website to plan our wedding. Or look at pictures of things that I would love to have there. All because you're a FUCKING PUSSY WHO COULDN'T SUCK IT UP FOR 11 FUCKING WEEKS LIKE A GOD DAMN NORMAL PERSON! YOU HAVE TO GO AND BE A FUCKING STUPID IDIOT BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU WERE RAISED. THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND THAT ITS A FUCKING FAIRYTALE DISNEY MOVIE WHERE EVERYTHING IS HAPPY AND EVERYONE IS CAREFREE AND COULD GIVE TWO SHITS. I want to break up with you becuase it's not fair and I shouldn't have to deal with this. All I asked for was a ring. Sometthing that you want to give me but that I will probably never see. If you fuck up your own life this bad, how anm I supposed to know that you won't fuck up our when we're married? (if we ever get that far). i deserve a wonderful amazing person and I thought that was you. I want it to be you. But I'm not waiting forever. I'm waiting until I'm 22 years old,, which is the ring deadline, and then that's it. That means you have three years to buy my ring and pay off all of your debt. Better get that done. You don't believe me; I don't believe myself, but do you really wanna test me? Oh I forgot, we're JUST DATING. That's all. No big deal. Not like we're in love and planning the entire fucking future together or anything. From this day forwrad, October 15th 2010, I will never type the addrress wwww.project wedding into my address by ever EVER again, untill I have my rock on my finger. It hurts too much to see everyone else's happiness and plan for something that I'm not sure will come true yet. I will also not talk about marriage or babies or anything in the future with Bob ever again. It also hurts to much. You can't talk about the one thing I want like it's going to happen soon and not expect me to want it. I just want to be happy. I need someone whole not only loes me but can support me an make my dreams come true. Are you that person? Well one thing is for sure, we won't be having any sex, also starting on October 15th 2010 until you prove it to me. Which could take until my death . . .